I Feel Pretty . . .

Maria, the lead female character in the musical "West Side Story" is in love. Looking in the mirror she sees herself in a new light, and the strains of a song swell as she begins to sing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty . . ."

One young widow I'll call Maria met a new young woman at church who invited her out to lunch. They had seen each other several times in the halls but had never said much more than hello.

Maria arranged for a sitter for her three-year-old daughter, and they went to a quiet little restaurant. In the course of the conversation, the new friend asked about her marital status.
"I'm a widow - my husband died last year."

"Oh - I'm sorry. I should have guessed - the widow's weeds, you know."

Widow's weeds? The term was unfamiliar to Maria, but from the woman's glance at her clothing that had accompanied the remark, she assumed it referred to her clothing.

She self-consciously thought about what she was wearing, from head to toe. A grey sweater, worn jeans, black slip-on shoes. She had put on earrings that morning, just in honor of the occasion. It wasn't often that she went out to lunch.

The food was tasteless after that. Her mind was preoccupied with the comment and what it meant. It was true - she rarely thought about the clothes she put on. She got up, got dressed, made it through the day, and undressed at the end of each day. That was it. She was surviving.

At home that afternoon, she looked in her closet. There were a few outfits she had liked to wear, up until a year ago. For some reason, she never reached for them anymore. Some outfits still brought back painful memories of the last time she had worn them - with him. Others just didn't feel right. It was just easier to wear jeans and whatever T-shirt happened to be on top in the drawer.

The comment of her friend haunted her all that night. Did it matter what she looked like? Was she ready to think about her appearance again?

For many of us it takes a long time after a loss to get to the point where anything other than surviving each day matters. The energy and focus required to simply exist are all-encompassing. But there can come a time when thinking about our appearance becomes something that lifts us, something that brings us one more reason to smile.

Maria opened the bathroom drawer and dug out her face wash and moisturizer and found her makeup compact. She sat her three-year-old daughter on the counter next to her, and together they washed their faces. While the little girl played with the washcloth and a doll, Maria applied moisturizer and makeup.

"Mommy pretty!" her daughter squealed, and, looking into the mirror, Maria had to agree. It felt good to be taking care of herself once again.

She walked to her closet and chose a khaki skirt and a blouse in a bright peach color, put them on, and looked in the full-length mirror. The effect startled her. She was surprised to admit that she felt pretty. It was an unfamiliar - but pleasant - sensation.

If you are feeling drained and it has been a while since you have done something to take care of yourself, go to that bathroom drawer. Pull out the face wash and moisturizer, and pamper yourself for a few minutes! Then look in the mirror, and admit it - it's all right to say it:

"I feel pretty!"








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You are pretty!